My uncle, who came to stay for a three-day visit six months ago, pulled his car into our driveway. He knew he’d piss my father off since dad would have to circle the block looking for a parking space. As soon as Uncle Mickey got out of his car, he pulled off his Yankee hat and started swatting at something flying all around him. He was hat swatting and hand slapping and finally he made a run for our front door which we kept locked.

“What’s in the bag?”

“Golden delicious,” my father said to the colonel.

“How many?”

“Just as we agreed on,” Dad said. “Three over-ripe extra larges.”

“Line them up on the stone wall across the street.”

“Not so fast, buddy. Did you do your part?”

“You’ll see,” the horsefly leader said, laughing his horsefly laugh. “Ha-bzt Ha-bzt Ha-bzt.”